Sometimes its good to be upset

Don’t avoid the hard conversations

We are now home and getting ready to re-engage with the world tomorrow.

It has been wonderful to have the space to reflect over the past couple of weeks.

As I took the time to process the journey of the last year, one of the things that stood out was a little counter-intuitive.

I realised that I didn’t upset enough people.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think I managed to upset my fair share of people, but often not for the right reasons.

In my quiet time this morning I was reading Paul’s reflection on the Corinthians response to his first letter:

Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. (2 Corinthians 7:8-11 in the Message)

What stands out to me in what Paul is saying is that there are two kinds of sorrow: one that pulls you back to God and one that focuses you on yourself and everybody else.

I realised that perhaps occasionally over the past 12 months, I have avoided producing the right kind of sorrow in people. It’s not an easy thing to put your relationship with someone on the line for the sake of truth, but my sense is that I and others needed to do more of it.

Also I think perhaps we let  people spend too much time focussed on sorrow which doesn’t bring life.

I find Paul’s definition of the two kinds of sorrow really helpful and also challenging.

Over the next few months I want to have a go at having the courage to produce more of the ‘helpful’ sorrow, and calling people out of the unhelpful sorrow.