Why Church Isn’t About You (And Why That’s Good News)

This morning, I made a last-minute change to the sermon series we are doing over the next few weeks. It felt important to address the assumption most of us have about the purpose of church, which is a real problem.

Why church exists

We have made a mistake in the way we talk about church.

Without meaning to, we have created the idea that church exists to meet your needs.

That if you come, you should be fed, cared for, encouraged, and supported. And if those things are not happening in the way you expect, then something is wrong.

That sounds reasonable.

But it is not what the Bible teaches.

Church Is Not About You

Paul begins Romans 12 with a warning:

“Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment…” (Romans 12:3)

That cuts against the way most of us think.

We naturally see ourselves as the centre. We measure everything by how it affects us. We ask questions like:

• Did I like it?
• Did I get something out of it?
• Did it meet my needs?

But Paul is saying something very different.

You are not the centre.

Church does not exist for you.

We Belong to Each Other

Paul continues:

“For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.” (Romans 12:4–5)

That last line is easy to miss.

You belong to each other.

Not just to Jesus. To each other.

That means your life is not just your own. Your gifts are not just for you. Your preferences are not the most important thing in the room.

You are part of a body.

And a body only works when each part plays its role.

We Need Each Other

Paul goes on:

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us…” (Romans 12:6)

Different gifts.

Different personalities.

Different ways of seeing the world.

That difference is not a problem to solve. It is how God designed the church to work.

But it creates tension.

Because the things that help one person connect with God might frustrate someone else.

The style of worship that brings life to one person might feel uncomfortable to another.

The way one person thinks the church should move forward might clash with someone else’s view.

And when that tension comes, we often assume something is wrong.

But it is not wrong.

It is normal.

It is what happens when different parts of the body are learning to work together.

Our Focus Is Not Ourselves

Paul then describes what life in the church should look like:

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (Romans 12:10)

That is not how most people approach church.

We are trained to think in terms of our own experience.

But Paul says the focus shifts.

Instead of asking, What am I getting? we begin to ask, How can I love?

Instead of asking, Do I feel honoured? we ask, Who can I honour?

Instead of protecting our preferences, we lay them down for the sake of others.

That is a completely different way of living.

The Kind of People Church Forms

Romans 12 keeps going, and it becomes very practical:

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” (Romans 12:14)

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” (Romans 12:15)

“Live in harmony with one another… Do not be proud…” (Romans 12:16)

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil…” (Romans 12:17)

This is the kind of life the church is meant to form in us.

Not just people who attend.

People who are being shaped.

People who can stay in relationship even when it is hard.

People who can carry difference without walking away.

People who can love even when they are not being loved in return.

That kind of maturity does not happen automatically.

It is formed in community.

Love Is What Holds It Together

When you read Romans 12 alongside 1 Corinthians 12 and 13, a pattern emerges.

We are one body with many parts.

We have different gifts.

And the only thing that can hold that together is love.

Without love, difference becomes division.

Without love, gifts become competition.

Without love, the church fractures.

But with love, something powerful happens.

A group of very different people becomes one.

Why Church Exists

So what is church for?

From our perspective, church exists to help us grow up.

To become mature.

To become people who can love like Jesus.

But from God’s perspective, it is even bigger than that.

In Ephesians, Paul says that through the church, God is making his wisdom known.

The church is meant to show the world what God is like.

Not through perfect people.

Through a diverse group of people learning to live together in love.

One, But Not the Same

Jesus prayed for this in John 17:

“…that all of them may be one… so that the world may believe…” (John 17:21)

Notice what he does not pray for.

He does not pray that we would all be the same.

He prays that we would be one.

Unity is not uniformity.

It is not everyone agreeing on everything.

It is not removing difference.

It is learning to stay together in love, even when we are different.

And when that happens, it becomes a witness to the world.

The Challenge

This is where it gets real.

Because this kind of church is hard.

It means staying when it would be easier to leave.

It means listening when you would rather defend yourself.

It means honouring people you do not agree with.

It means loving people who do not love you back in the way you expect.

But this is how we grow.

And this is how the church becomes what it is meant to be.

A Different Way to See Church

Church is not a place that exists to meet your needs.

It is a community that forms you.

It shapes your character.

It stretches your love.

It teaches you to live differently.

And as it does that, it becomes a sign to the world of what God is like.

That is why church exists.

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Check out the video of the full message here