Can you let them be different? Once you have worked our what matters for you and what your feelings are, and done your best to work out what matters for them and what their feelings are, the next step is for that to be ok! One of the great journeys of my married life was the dawning realisation that Leeanne was different to me. If you are experiencing conflict it is because the other person/party sees the world differently to you. Is that ok?