It’s not in their hands – its in God’s hands
I haven’t written a reflection for a few days for a couple of reasons.
The main reason is that I have been using every spare minute to try to finish my book on Kingdom Cells.. Its coming along well but still needs some work.
The other reason is that I haven’t been sure what to write about. I would love to write more reflections that are resolved and uplifting, but so often my life is anything but resolved.
I have enjoyed this first week of the year and starting a new journal, and as part of my thinking about the coming year, I have been reflecting on the Matthew chapter 5.
Today I was a bit confronted.
I know I have been in ministry for 20 years and should be starting to have a clue, but I realised today that I had fallen into a trap.
I was starting to see people who I feel hurt by as “them”, and I was blaming “them” for the place I found myself in.
Jesus is revolutionary, he turns the normal way we see conflict on its head. It is not our job to beat “them” it is our job to see “them”, to love “them” and to pray for “them”.
Jesus says (starting at verse 41):
You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves.
I think what Jesus is getting at is something like: “Don’t let your enemies set your agenda for you, see them as people and bring them to me. Remember I am in charge, they are not.”
This is not a position of weakness, it is a position that takes great strength. It is not about allowing yourself to be dehumanized, it is ensuring that you don’t dehumanize those that hurt you.
Conflict is not a bad thing. It is important to disagree. I had someone say to me this week “what is important is that we all go in the same direction, even if it is the wrong direction”. I didn’t react immediately but as I went away and processed what I had heard I was dumbfounded. That is a scary position to come from in life. It is through dialogue, and yes even conflict, that we actually discover truth, but if our main goal is to keep things together we will find that we are heading in the wrong direction and no-one will be brave enough to say it.
The challenge is finding a way to have the conflict without hate. It is much easier to hate than to love. When you hate you are less vulnerable, when you love you open yourself to pain. Jesus is calling us to respond to conflict in a revolutionary way.
One of the most thought provoking books I have ever read is Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Friere. So much of that book is applicable to so many different aspects of my life.
One of the most challenging ideas in the book is that those who are oppressed are actually responsible to restore the humanity of the oppressors by moving beyond the set of rules they lay down:
One of the basic elements of the relationship between the oppressor and oppressed is prescription. Every prescription represents the imposition of one individual’s choice upon another, transforming the consciousness of the person prescribed into one that conforms with the prescriber’s consciousness. Thus the behavior of the oppressed is a prescribed behavior, following as it does the guidelines of the oppressor.
The oppressed, having internalized the image of the oppressor and adopted his guidelines, are fearful of freedom. Freedom would require them to eject this image and replace it with autonomy and responsibility. Freedom is acquired by conquest, not by gift. It must be pursued constantly and responsibly.
I am realising that often in conflict situations, I find myself feeling powerless, in a world created by my ‘enemy’. What is revolutionary in what Jesus is saying is that he is calling us not to allow conflict to take away our ability to choose.
I just finished reading Blue like Jazz by Don Miller. It wasn’t bad, a nice light read. One bit of the book has been going around in my head since reading it though. Don had problems with a girl and couldn’t work out what was going on, so he went to see a counselor. After listening to him for a while, she told him that he did have a problem:
“It’s not that bad, Don. Don’t worry. Its just that for some reason, you are letting this girl name you”.
“What do you mean, name me?”
“Well, you are letting her decide your value, you know. Your value has to come from God. And God wants you to receive His love and to love yourself too.”
And what she was saying was true. I knew it was true. I could feel that it was true. But it also felt wrong. I mean, it felt like it was an arrogant thing to do, to love myself, to receive love. I knew that all the kicking myself around, all the hating myself, was not coming from God, that those voices were not God whispering in my ear, but it felt like I had to listen to them; it felt like I had to believe the voices were telling the truth.
I found those few paragraphs very helpful.
Paulo Friere says:
Self-depreciation is another characteristic of the oppressed, which derives from their internalization of the opinion of the oppressors hold of them.
I wrote in my journal today:
“It’s not in their hands – its in God’s hands”.
That realisation hit me. That is the only way it is really possible to love your enemies. It makes such a difference when you let God ‘name you’ rather than anyone else. All of a sudden, ‘they’ are not setting the agenda, and because of that it is much easier to relate to them as fellow human beings.
Jesus says:
“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.” (Matthew 5:9 MSG)
More and more I see that it is only really possible to cooperate when it is possible for you to be yourself, and for others to be themselves, and that is only possible when neither of you are defining reality – God is.
4 Comments
mary hooker
dearest matt thank you for this article, its something i needed at this time, i m still trying to get throught my godson sucuded and trying to work out where i went wrong as i was reponisble for his christin upbringing or i thought i was in the end i have realised that it was his desicion to end his life and that i have to let go of him and know that he wnt be in heaven with me this was a good read i havnt been close to god for a long time and have not read your blogs for a while but i was drawn to this blog its was what i needed to wake myself up i hope now i can feel gods presence near me instead of me pushing him and shiting him out of my life im not blaming him no more thank you thsank you my brother may the lord keep you and your fsmily safe and know that i love you all keep me in your prays as i think about going ba ck to bible collage this yearxxx
Matt Garvin
You are a special woman Mary…..
Sharon Smith
Thank you Matt. Having heard you speak about “Pedagogy of the Oppressed” so often, I have finally placed an order for this book and am hoping it will be “life changing”. And, I only have 1/2 + a century of thinking to turn around!
Having read a few articles on your blog this morning, I am also considering the irony of what can be learnt from those we come into strong opposition with. (Not mere conflict, which is healthy with those who are being themselves while respecting others who are different.) Perhaps there are times when we are initially brought into submission by the oppression that others can visit upon us, and allow ourselves to be defined by their judgement or treatment towards us. And so comes, the arduous journey to get back up on our feet and take a mature stand to see ourselves through God’s reality.
As 1 Corinthians 13: 11 says: “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.”
Children are at the mercy of their caregivers. Perhaps, many members of society are influenced to live their lives by a world that in part, caters to the role model of defining people by their delegated positions of influence, which can lead to “impoverished” ways of living. And by persons, who in ignorance, allow themselves to be defined by such labels and limitations thereby lacking both the vision and freedom to see themselves and their world through the reality of our Truine God.
“Freedom is acquired through conquest.”
Matt Garvin
I appreciate the way you are thinking Sharon.