Healthy churches welcome Sojourners. Unhealthy churches have either too many or too few.

Over the last eighteen months, I have been saying over and over again that the way we have done church in the past cannot be how we do church into the future…

While no one disagrees, it is increasingly evident that as I say things like this, I am creating a major challenge for myself.

It is one thing to say that things have to change, it is a completely different thing to name how they have to change. After all, Social media is full of people pointing out the problems with the church, I find far fewer people are pointing out how things can actually change.

One way the church needs to change is that we need to find new ways of positioning ourselves in relation to the rest of the world and also in relation to those who we say are part of our churches.

The old paradigm of church is based around insiders and outsiders, and the goal of the church is to increase the number of outsiders who become insiders.

In my two previous reflections about Neighbours and Friends, I attempted to reframe how a church relates to those we would have once seen as outsiders. Today I want to begin to explore a more nuanced view of those who we would have once simply regarded as insiders.

I want to propose that the purpose of the church is not numerical growth, but instead it is to “equip his people for works of service,” (Ephesians 4:12) which results in the achievement of its proper goal:  people becoming mature and living the kind of whole life that can only come in and through the “fullness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:13).

If this is actually the purpose of the church then it is essential that we start to differentiate between people who are part of the church, because we are all at different points on the journey towards what the bible would call maturity and the kind of relationship we need with a church differs depending on where we are up to.

I would like to suggest that there are actually at least five different groups of people in most churches: Sojourners, Explorers, Adventurers, Pioneers and Followers.

In this reflection, I want to particularly talk about the Sojourners. The dictionary definition of a Soujourner is someone who stays as a temporary resident.

Sojourners are the people who turn up and engage with a church family but their primary goal in engaging with the church is about finding some level of personal nourishment or shelter rather than participating in the life of the church itself.

The primary point of engagement for a Sojourner is normally the Sunday service and they will often avoid much interaction with other people.

Sometimes Sojourners are actually sojourners… people who are visiting from out of town and who are already more deeply engaged with a church family in another place.

Sometimes Sojourners are people who have been hurt by their engagement with church in the past, and while they are looking for spiritual input and nourishment they are actively avoiding interaction with other Christians.

Sometimes Sojourners are not yet Christians but are seeking to understand what Christianity is about and want the space simply to observe and try to understand what Christianity is about.

Sometimes Sojourners are people who are looking for a new church family so they are “trying on” a few different churches to see if they can find the right fit.

Sometimes Sojourners are people who are stuck in permanent transit. They perpetually move from church to church and never find a home anywhere for a myriad of different reasons.

I think it is also important to recognise that one other important group of people fit the category of Sojourners in most churches: our children. Our kids have to take their own spiritual journeys, and until they begin to find their own paths they really are just sojourning amongst us.

In a healthy church, there is space for sojourners. It has to be ok for people to be welcomed in and to engage at the level they want to engage. It has to be ok for people to simply be seeking personal spiritual nourishment.

In a healthy church, we need to be ready to both welcome and also farewell sojourners. I estimate that about 10% of a healthy church will be sojourners.

An unhealthy church will have either too many sojourners or too few.

A church that has too many sojourners is a church that has placed too much emphasis on the event of church and probably measures success by bums on seats.

A church that has too few sojourners is a church that probably gives a message through its signage, building or website that visitors are not welcome. They will never actually say that, but the way they communicate is so foreign to people outside the church that the impact is that they appear to be a secretive club.

If the goal of the church is to help people become mature followers of Christ then ultimately people need to be encouraged to move beyond sojourning. This process cannot be forced or manipulative though and we can never start to see sojourners as “prospects.”

Our primary attitude toward sojourners needs to be that of hospitality. As the book of Hebrews says:

 Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. (Hebrews 13:2)

As Henri Nouwen says, hospitality is not about changing people but about offering them space where change can take place. In his book Reaching Out, Nouwen declares that:

“The paradox of hospitality is that it wants to create emptiness, not a fearful emptiness, but a friendly emptiness where strangers can enter and discover themselves as created free; free to sing their own songs, speak their own languages, dance their own dances; free also to leave and follow their own vocations. Hospitality is not a subtle invitation to adopt the lifestyle of the host, but the gift of a chance for the guest to find his own.”

While it is true that many Sojourners may move to the next levels of engagement with church, many will not, and that has to be ok.  Hospitality means that we welcome people not in order to change them or to win them to our church, but in order to express the love that we say is at the heart of our faith.

As we welcome Sojourners, we need to welcome them at the level they want to be welcomed. At the same time though, we need to allow Sojourners to observe us, to get to know what matters to us and also know where our boundaries are.

Again Nouwen points out:

“Receptivity is only one side of hospitality. The other side, equally important, is confrontation. To be receptive to the stranger in no way implies that we have to become neutral ‘nobodies.’ Real receptivity asks for confrontation because space can only be a welcoming space when there are clear boundaries, and boundaries are limits between which we define our own position. Flexible limits, but limits nonetheless. Confrontation results from the articulate presence, the presence within boundaries, of the host to the guest by which he offers himself as a point of orientation and a frame of reference.”

So a healthy church will encourage Sojourners on their personal journey, but will not allow that personal journey to set the agenda of the church.

For the Sojourners who have been hurt by previous experiences with church, a healthy church will model through their own relationships, authenticity and accountability that this really is a safe place.

For the Sojourners who are exploring what Christianity is about, there will be space for genuine respectful dialogue and a clear and regular articulation of the heart of the Christian faith. This is where both Alpha and the Foundations courses are very useful.

For the Sojourners who are “trying on” the church, a healthy church will be very clear about what kind of community it is, where its boundaries are and what is expected of people at its core. A healthy church will not pretend to be something it isn’t in order to encourage people to hang around longer.

For the Sojourners who are stuck in permanent transit, a healthy church will listen and appropriately challenge in order to address whatever issue it is that holds them back from engaging. They will always be welcome but they will also be encouraged to find a church family they can engage with on a more regular basis.

For Sojourners who are just visiting from out of town, a healthy church will be a welcoming church that continues to engage even when they learn there is no prospect of a lasting relationship.

For our Sojourning kids, a healthy church recognises that the spiritual journey is not automatic and that each child is on their own unique journey. Because of this a healthy church will devote significant resources to the discipleship of kids, seeing it as important as any other activity they are engaged in.  

A healthy church does not presume that kids who grow up in the church will stay with that church for the rest of their lives but instead creates space for kids, teens and young adults and allows them to observe and question the assumptions that underpin the church’s practises and teaching.

As we develop a more nuanced view of the different people we engage with as a church we will come to understand the vital role that Sojourners have amongst us. 

Sojourners are so important because they give us the opportunity to live the core of our faith on a day to day basis. It is easy to put on an act in a meeting or at an event, however it is the people who see you day in and day out that understand how real your faith actually is.

Sojourners travel part of the journey of life with us and it is they who can give the most helpful feedback about the culture of our church and the culture of our families. 

Sojourners who hang around for more than a couple of weeks will often become aware of things that are effectively blind spots for the leadership of a church.  

This is why a healthy church has a way to get feedback from people who are leaving and from their children and teenagers. It is these groups who will most accurately reflect back to a church how it is actually going with being hospitable and creating space for people who are not in the centre of the church’s life.