Parenting and Family,  Values

Death isn’t something to be feared, its a reminder of just how precious life actually is.

I’ve been thinking about my own mortality lately. That has partly been brought on by the fact my grandmother is nearing the end of her life and one of my favorite parts of the days is when Leeanne and I stroll across the road for a cuppa with her and whoever else happens to be there at the time (usually either my Mum and Dad or Auntie Anne).

My mum has worked with my Grandmother on the story of her life, complete with photos. It is fascinating to see my grandmother as a small child, a teenager and a young married woman. Now 95, Mema has seen so many things change in her lifetime. As a child in rural Tasmania she grew up without electricity, much less the radio and now she sees her grandchildren and great grandchildren with gadgets that would have been the stuff of science fiction only 20 years ago.

My grandmother has had a good life. She has loved and been loved by many, many people and now many of the people she grew up with are no longer with us, including her husband, Gordon (Pa).

It is tempting to think that life will never end, but it does. At some point all the people we know and love will no longer walk the face of the planet, and before long it is highly probable that people will not even know that you ever existed.

Part of me wants to protest at that truth, thinking that somehow I am too important to ever be forgotten, but chances are I will.

The book of Ecclesiastes indicates that viewing life from the perspective of death is actually a very healthy thing.

A good name is better than fine perfume,
and the day of death better than the day of birth.
It is better to go to a house of mourning
than to go to a house of feasting,
for death is the destiny of everyone;
the living should take this to heart.
Frustration is better than laughter,
because a sad face is good for the heart.
The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.
(Ecclesisates 7:1-4)
Death is not a comfortable thought, particularly since our human nature wires us to see the world from our own perspective, a perspective in which we are the centre of the universe.
Ecclesiastes indicates though, that wisdom actually comes as you live each day from the point of view that every minute is a limited resource.
When I taught Ecclesiastes a couple of weeks ago I tried to dredge up the Supply and Demand curves from my H.S.C. economics class, because the law of supply and demand is very relevant. If you deeply understand that your minutes, hours and days are a limited resource then it follows that you will value them highly. The reverse, however is also true. If you don’t understand that your most limited resource is not money or anything else, but time, then you will not value the gift that each moment actually is.
Science writer Robin Marantz Henig, wrote reflectively that:
“This death-denying culture has led to a system of care for the terminally ill that allows us to indulge the fantasy that dying is somehow optional.”
Dying is not optional. You have been given a limited number of moments to enjoy in this world and at some point they will end.
I think one of the saddest aspects of our culture is that we pay the most money, we place the highest value, on people who can help us spending our most limited resource avoiding reality. Whether it be computer games, trashy novels, television shows, alcohol, drugs, pornography… you name it, the best way to make money is to help people escape the real world.
I’m a bit nervous that at the end of my life, as I tally up how I used my time, that well over a year of my time will have been spent watching television. I like to unwind watching T.V., but there is an increasing amount of research showing the correlation between the amount of television watched and the decrease in both quality of life and quality of relationships.
My grandmother has spent her time wisely. I hope that if I make it to 95 I will be able to look backĀ  in the same way she is able to at the moment, and see the many different people and adventures that created a tapestry of life to be proud of.

Death isn’t something to be feared, its a reminder of just how precious, and temporal, life actually is.

I'd love to hear what you think...