Hope doesn’t come cheaply, but there is nothing more precious.

It was Leeanne’s birthday yesterday.

I tried to find the words to describe to her what she meant to me in a birthday card but I didn’t do a very good job.

At my 40th, a month ago, Leeanne spoke briefly but her words had a profound impact on me.

She said that as we were getting married that she knew it would be an adventure but that she was ready to commit herself to taking the ride with me. Those words are simple but I have come to see how significant they are.

I am close to finishing my book on Kingdom Cells and in it I spend a chapter talking about commitment. I received some feedback from one Christian leader saying that because the younger generation don’t commit so much that the book may need to be less focused on what commitment means.

I disagree.

I mean I agree that is what is happening, I just don’t think it’s o.k.

Australian Social Researcher, Hugh Mackay, says the current generation of under 30’s has learned to postpone long-term commitments in favor of short-term goals and temporary solutions. He says

“Growing up in a world of ever-expanding choices, they have made a virtue of keeping their options open, and they have adopted What else is there?  as their general catchcry. It’s a question that comes up whether the topic is a course of study, a job, a sexual partner, a musical genre, an outing, a set of religious or political beliefs, a fashion label, a food fad or a make of car.

When Leeanne and I were married almost 18 years ago we made a commitment, we shut the door on other options.

I remember about three years into our marriage when I started to understand just what that commitment meant. I was feeling a bit panicked about a major event that I was organising and as I woke up and looked across at Leeanne there was a dawning awareness accompanied with a strong sense of relief that no matter what happened, Leeanne would still be there. No matter what the world threw at us, we were in it together.

We have grown closer together as the years go on, which is a good thing because it didn’t take very long into our marriage (I think it was our catastrophe of a honeymoon) to discover just how far apart we were. We are very different, and sometimes we annoy the hell out of each other, but that commitment holds us together.

The last two years have been the most challenging in our lives, but the fact that I know that Leeanne is still there, no matter what, means I am more able to face the day. There is something about knowing someone has your back that means its possible to go forward. I don’t think I will ever adequately find a form of words to describe to Leeanne what she means to me, but I do know that while we are both alive there is no rush because we will be together.

Commitment costs, but I think I see like never before, commitment provides a foundation on which you can build a life. If you don’t have commitment you are just at the beck and call of circumstances

I don’t think my marriage is the only place I need to be committed, and I know that not everyone gets married, but I believe that without committment in your life, you won’t have much of a life and you certainly won’t have many strong relationships.

My Auntie Anne is a hero of mine. She is caring for my grandmother who is now 94 and needing more help these days, and she also carries in her heart a large number of people. She is committed to them.

I have had the privilege of working in the same organization as some of my family, and in Fusion lots of people call Auntie Anne, Auntie Anne not because of they are related by blood, but because they are connected to her because they know she cares. Only last week one of our workers in a different country wasn’t getting the support they needed and she went to work. Within a couple of days things were sorted. It’s one thing to have a job title or a place in a structure, it’s another thing completely to commit to people and care deeply when they are hurting.

Leeanne and Auntie Anne have taught me about the importance of commitment to relationships. I know I wouldn’t be the person without people like them.

The Apostle Paul indicates that there is a connection between perseverance and hope:

And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but wealso glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:2-4)

My long suffering wife gives me hope. Auntie Anne gives me hope.

Hope doesn’t come cheaply, but there is nothing more precious.