12 Oct 2011
I need you
I’m back on a plane. This time it is the short flight to Melbourne from Sydney and then the hop across the ditch to make it home finally.
As I said yesterday, I find myself quite challenged by Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s book Life Together.
I’m struggling to come to terms with the depth of what he is saying, but I know that much of it is important for me in this moment.
Up front I need to admit something.
I don’t like community much, at least part of me doesn’t.
I love space. I love reading and thinking. I love being with my wife and kids but I often experience other people initially as hard work. I say initially because often when I don’t avoid the connection it becomes enjoyable and life giving, and in those moments I would probably say I like community.
I think there is a problem with my thinking. I trust it too much.
I’m challenged by one of Bonhoeffer’s early quotes:
Christians need other Christians who speak God’s word to them. They need them again and again when they become uncertain and disheartened because, living by their own resources, they cannot help themselves without cheating themselves out of the truth.
I find this truth challenging because the times when I am uncertain and disheartened are the times I am most likely to live by my own resources and do my best to avoid others.
I can see the truth of what he is saying, but I need to face the fact that I don’t regularly live it.
Also as I reflect on the l last couple of years in Fusion, years most people would describe as difficult, I dont think I’m on my own. Most would agree that the tendency has been towards isolation and away from fellowship.
I wonder at this tendency we seem to have, to avoid fellowship at the very time we seem to need it.
I sense that both I and we might need to face this fact if we want to get to the truth Bonhoeffer talks about.