Love and Marriage

I am sitting on the couch and watching my tired wife enjoy some time in front of the television. She has been quite tired lately.

Marriage is complicated.

We thought that it wouldn’t be.

We did pre-marriage counselling and sailed through (or so we thought) but on the honeymoon came the shock that answering the right questions on a questionnaire didn’t prepare you for someone who doesn’t drive the way they should, or who puts you down, or who snores or who farts in the car.

My marriage has been very important for me. It has been the most difficult relationship of my life by a country mile, but by far the most precious.

The reality that began to dawn on me on that honeymoon was that my wife is different to me. She really, really is.

I have made so many mistakes in our relationship, and I continue to make mistakes. I am grateful for Leeanne’s patience with me, and I have had to learn patience with her.

I have been thinking about U2 songs lately, and the one song that most captures my relationship with my wife is A Man and a Woman. It is like a love song for grown-ups who know love is complicated but worth it… I really would never want to take a chance on losing love to find romance.

U2 Lyrics – A Man and a Woman

Little sister don’t you worry about a thing today
Take the heat from the sun
Little sister
I know that everything is not ok
But you’re like honey on my tongue

True love never can be rent
But only true love can keep beauty innocent

I could never take a chance
Of losing love to find romance
In the mysterious distance
Between a man and a woman
No I could never take a chance
‘Cos I could never understand
The mysterious distance
Between a man and a woman

You can run from love
And if it’s really love it will find you
Catch you by the heel
But you can’t be numb for love
The only pain is to feel nothing at all
How can I hurt when I’m holding you?

I could never take a chance
Of losing love to find romance
In the mysterious distance
Between a man and a woman

And you’re the one, there’s no-one else
You make me want to lose myself
In the mysterious distance
Between a man and a woman

Brown eyed girl across the street
On rue Saint Divine
I thought this is the one for me
But she was already mine
You were already mine…

Little sister
I’ve been sleeping in the street again
Like a stray dog
Little sister
I’ve been trying to feel complete again
But you’re gone and so is God

The soul needs beauty for a soul mate
When the soul wants… the soul waits …

No I could never take a chance
Of losing love to find romance
In the mysterious distance
Between a man and a woman

For love and faith and sex and fear
And all the things that keep us here
In the mysterious distance
Between a man and a woman

How can I hurt when I’m holding you?

Lyrics: Bono
Produced by: Jacknife Lee
Backing vocals: Th Edge
Additional percussion: The Edge
Synthesizers: Jacknife Lee