Leeanne and I finished painting my shed yesterday and as I sit inside it writing this I realise that it’s hard to communicate the importance of a shed.

This shed was a gift from my wife for my 30th birthday. I was away for a long weekend and she worked with my parents in law to line it and install the massive window.

Two years ago, when we returned to Poatina, my shed was in a bad way. It hadn’t been loved and the floor had rotted.

I am very grateful for my mother-in-law who worked out how to replace the particle board floor with pine floorboards, and for my father-in-law who actually did the work (under the close supervision of my mother-in-law).

I can’t describe the feeling when the furniture went back in, the bookshelves were re-loaded, and I had my space once more. Read the rest of this entry »

I find myself in a most frustrating place.

For the first time in 20 years I don’t have direct leadership responsibility. Part of me loves it and another part is going crazy as I see so many things that I think are not being led and for the first time I can’t do anything about it.

It’s one thing to trust God to help you fix something, it’s another thing completely looking on and trusting God to fix it without you. How will he ever manage without me? (I’m only joking in case you didn’t pick it…)

I think I will probably look back on this patch of time as very important in my life, but at the moment, not having answers and not having a way to “fix things” and just having to trust God sucks!

(Very spiritual aren’t I!)

Read the rest of this entry »

Yesterday we made our way through the Lord of the Rings  once more and I was fascinated by how much more I got from the movies this time around.

Probably the moment that touched me the most was towards the end of The Two Towers when Sam has one of the longest pieces of dialogue in the whole trilogy.

Frodo: I can’t do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.

I am enjoying the wrestle of trying to finally finish my book, Kingdom Cells. In many ways it is my wrestle to name what I believe is worth fighting for. Read the rest of this entry »

My wife keeps me grounded.

We were talking this morning about what our future looks like in the midst of a time of change, and I was telling her that I really do have a sense that I am committed to helping Kingdom Cells form and grow around the world.

Her immediate response was: “But it doesn’t work”. She pointed to how broken those we know who claim to be seeking first the Kingdom are.

In a lot of ways Leeanne is right. It doesn’t take too much looking to find people who talk a lot about the Kingdom of God and of Grace but don’t live it. In all honesty I only have to look at myself. Read the rest of this entry »

It was Leeanne’s birthday yesterday.

I tried to find the words to describe to her what she meant to me in a birthday card but I didn’t do a very good job.

At my 40th, a month ago, Leeanne spoke briefly but her words had a profound impact on me.

She said that as we were getting married that she knew it would be an adventure but that she was ready to commit herself to taking the ride with me. Those words are simple but I have come to see how significant they are.

I am close to finishing my book on Kingdom Cells and in it I spend a chapter talking about commitment. I received some feedback from one Christian leader saying that because the younger generation don’t commit so much that the book may need to be less focused on what commitment means.

I disagree.

I mean I agree that is what is happening, I just don’t think it’s o.k. Read the rest of this entry »